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the map

Friday, January 16, 2015 by alana

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Every so often I post a picture that includes the wall beyond our table and someone asks what is that? That, I say, is the map. And I always promise to tell the story of of the map, someday.

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In the Fall of 2012, just before our tenth wedding anniversary, Joey started drawing a map.

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One day, two little squares appeared on our wall. For me, he said. A little map.

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Joey makes maps. He maps stories, experiences, and different ways we walk from the house to the river. I think he expresses himself most fluidly in topography, boundaries, and transitions from land to water. I have a collection of these maps from over the years, outlines of the land of Chernilia, detailed tours of my own heart, clear paths through imaginary places, often with more clarity and definition than anything that’s really around us.

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I thought the two tiles were the whole map. But he’d sketched out a much bigger place, and he’d transferred the boundaries to 100 other squares. Then he secretly sent out the squares to people we loved all over the country (and a few beyond), each with a stamped and self-addressed envelope, asking each person to return their little section of the map by our anniversary. It was, he said later, the best way he could think to bring people together in a way that was really possible. It was like a second wedding.

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His only requests were that people follow the line of land to water, and that they include their names somewhere on the tile.

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We went to Montreal for a few days to eat through our anniversary, and when we came back, our friends Molly and Aurel had put all the tiles together.

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I love every tile in this map. There are tiles by kids. There are tiles by professional artists and tiles by people who admitted they were terrified to pick up a paintbrush. There are tiles by people I’ve known all my life, and tiles by people I don’t know that well. There are people missing–some who Joey didn’t think to ask, or was afraid to ask. There are some who intended to make tiles, but didn’t get to it or got overwhelmed. (I later filled in those spots myself to hold their places, so I got to participate, too.) Many of the tiles arrived with letters that documented the process of making them. Some people had fights with their spouses about who would what, or what they would do together. Some told us about memories of when Joey and I first got together, or about our wedding. Other people told us about their feelings about love and marriage, and how they tried to squeeze all those thoughts onto their little section of this imaginary place.

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The map is attached to our wall with glue, so it’s rooted right into our house. We’ll have to take the wall with us if we ever leave. It’s my favorite thing in our house. I still stand in front of it all the time, and I just get lost in it. I find new places every day. And if I step back and squint my eyes, I can see the outline of Joey’s original world, with all its seas and mountains.

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Filed Under: Family Tagged With: marriage

« what to do with preserved lemons, part 2
if january is a lemon »

Comments

  1. Heather says

    Friday, January 16, 2015 at 9:49 pm

    This is the most beautiful gift I’ve ever heard of – ever! Thank you for sharing the story.

    • alana says

      Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 1:48 pm

      Thank you, Heather!

  2. Jill says

    Friday, January 16, 2015 at 10:45 pm

    Beautiful!!

  3. Lisa M says

    Saturday, January 17, 2015 at 1:31 am

    Completely and totally awesome. Brought tears to my eyes as I read your story. Thank you for sharing something so personal!

  4. kingshearte says

    Saturday, January 17, 2015 at 3:33 am

    That is amazing and beautiful. I think you should keep this Joey character. He seems alright. 🙂

    • alana says

      Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 1:48 pm

      Yup, he has his moments 🙂

  5. Hannah says

    Saturday, January 17, 2015 at 4:06 am

    Oh sweet Joey. What a gift!

    • alana says

      Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 1:49 pm

      He’s having a good time reading these comments 🙂

  6. Sara says

    Saturday, January 17, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    So, so beautiful. What an awesome gesture and a wonderful piece of art, now and for generations.

  7. Joëlle Bond says

    Sunday, January 18, 2015 at 3:26 am

    I will think of this particular story for the next few days, months or so. I am overwhelmed by the gesture Joey did for you…It is the most beautiful thing ever!!

  8. Jenny says

    Sunday, January 18, 2015 at 3:48 pm

    I also think this is spectacular and so unique! I often wish my husband were dreamier, or a little more creative because these are the things that I long for in our lives. BUT he is special in his own ways 🙂
    This just makes me feel so wonderful to read, Thank You for sharing!

  9. Jen says

    Sunday, January 18, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    That is the most beautiful, romantic, and creative gift I’ve ever heard of! We’re having a cold, hard rain in Philly today but your story made me feel warm and cozy again!

  10. Sara says

    Monday, January 19, 2015 at 1:19 am

    I love how this started and the idea—and how it brings so many people into your home.

  11. Carole says

    Monday, January 19, 2015 at 7:15 pm

    I agree with all that everyone has written! It is all so touching…

  12. Rachel @ 6512 and growing says

    Tuesday, January 20, 2015 at 3:27 am

    That is so special. What a creative gift. I bet it continues to bless and surprise and delight you in new ways each year.

  13. Laurie says

    Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 1:17 am

    Love that map! So honored to have played a part in it… gorgeous! Any plans to expand? 🙂

    • alana says

      Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 8:52 pm

      Yes- we talk about it all the time! Rosie keeps saying we should just have a box of blank tiles ready to go for anyone who visits- that way we can expand over the entire wall…

  14. elisabeth says

    Tuesday, January 27, 2015 at 6:12 pm

    This is SO cool! What an incredible gift! And I am kind of inspired…I have an apartment so I cannot do any permanent things but this is just really awesome. And I love maps. Love them. Oh gosh I want to go do this right now!! : )

  15. Marisa says

    Wednesday, February 4, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    What a beautiful gift-thanks for sharing the story!


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