things that are growing

A year ago today, I started this blog. A few days earlier, driving in the car with Joey, I had had a revelation. After two or three years of a frustrating lack of clarity, I finally figured out what it is I really like to do. I looked at him, probably with a very confused look on my face, and said, “I like to talk about food”.
You see, I’ve tried out a lot of different identities in the last few years. I’ve taught all sorts of things, from dance to classical geometry. I’ve taken classes in sustainable design and worked for my stepfather the architect. I’ve worked in publishing and right now I’m working in film. But paralyzed by my mellow obsession with personal greatness, I haven’t been able to find it, and at times that has nagged at me in some painful ways.

I’m glad that I went to a college that forced me to try to learn everything there is, because although I didn’t come out of there with a focus (unless you count Joey and the then tiny Sadie in my belly), I graduated with a sense of the possibility of everything. I wasn’t quite sure where I was going, but I knew that I could be a doctor or a writer or an engineer or a mother and all these things were possible.
And so, when I realized that out of all of the things that happen in a week, I feel most alive when I’m telling someone how to cook a turnip at the farmer’s market, it seemed that there might be something to that. I work at the market as part of my CSA share, and I glow through the whole thing. And when I was having a drink with my friend Naomi a couple of days after my revelation in the car, I shared it with her too. “Start a blog,” she said. “You can talk all you want about food.” And I went home that night and I did.

I certainly haven’t figured it out in this last year, but as long as I check in here pretty often, the nagging has stopped paining me so much. At some point, hopefully soon, I’ll figure out where I’m going with all this. But in the meantime, happy anniversary to us all, and thanks for sticking around. And here’s to doing what we love, even if it takes a little while to figure out how to make it happen.